A trip is made not just by what you encounter but by who you encounter it with. To have the chance to sit on a beach in Thailand sipping whiskey is amazing; to listen to a crazy/scary Israeli sprout off his personal take on male-female relationships in broken English while sitting there is unique and unforgettable. It is what really sparked this article isn’t it?

Funny how even though guys and gals want the same thing from travels, but when put together as guy&gal they take on different roles that make them feel restricted. Wish I was better at compromising because I think there is potential to get more out of my traveling experiences if I wanted a man around. As for now though, I’m just dandy with the free drinks I get because I don’t.

2: To me, anyway, the point of travelling is to find out who you are away from your family and out of your comfort zone… i.e., the opposite of being taken care of. I am a woman, and I have not traveled extensively by myself, but the last thing I would want to do is intentionally tie myself down to one person while on a mission to essentially figure out who I am.

3: It’s not just girls who demand a high level of commitment from their boyfriends. Clingy, jealous guys exist too. Also relationships with clingy men are more likely to end up becoming destructive and physically violent than relationships with clingy women. I’m just pointing that out for all you narrow-minded cave men out there.

Anyway, I liked how the author of this article maintained a neutral point of view, but I must agree that I feel sorry for any of the (ahem) “bitches” that made the mistake of sleeping with “The Israeli”.

you just have to genuinely like their company.

I think you’ll find that just as many women don’t want to be “tied down in relationships” as men. And you’ll find just as many boyfriends clinging to their girlfriend/boyfriends as girlfriends.

It’s amazing what a little “I’m just looking to get laid” honesty will actually get you.

Also, way to keep it heteronormative.

The author is completely one-sided in his exploration of the topic. What about traveling with a boyfriend? I would never consider doing such a thing (except in the short-term), without first seriously questioning our relationship. Living with a lover is difficult enough, for although there are beautiful moments, the constant contact is enough to make one question their sanity.

I can’t resist saying it-though I’m familiar with the type- but the two subjects of the article make my blood boil. However, I pity the shallow lives they currently lead. Have you never met a woman who thrives on adrenaline, spontenaity, and sometimes outright insanity? We too thrive on the solitary and pioneering search for the self without the need for constant chatting and care.

They probably wont know what you are talking about due to there being more well-adjusted and interesting travelers out there than this Israeli and Canadian.

That said, I’m not sure this piece entirely accomplishes what it sets out to do. While it brings up some interesting ideas, It’s very difficult to have a first person onlooker agreeing with a distasteful character and still be able to relate to them both in spite of feelings of disgust. That the readers here, including myself, have had such a strong reaction and many of us seem to miss part of the point, I think, leads more to the writing than the reader.

That said, kudos for the discussion. People talk about travel narrative, but almost no one talks about the process of creating these narratives, how they can be improved and the effect they have on the reader.

thanks for commenting.

4 quick clarifications re: ‘editorial policy’ / traffic / ‘what Matador is trying to promote’:

a. i wasn’t thinking about traffic or generating comments when i accepted this piece. when i first reviewed it, my initial reaction went something like: ‘damn. the israeli. i’ve met a lot of people like that before. they’re ‘all over the place’ when you’re traveling. but few people actually write about them. ‘

b. to me the theme here is that the certain behaviors are born out of fear and weakness.

c. noting that is positive, in my opinion. it leads discussion, to consideration. to ‘knowing where you stand.’

d. i feel like this theme is conveyed however via a writing style that most people aren’t used to. instead of the author labeling / judging / filtering / categorizing, (for example, categorizing the israeli as ‘a misogynist’, he’s more just observing / listening / declaring. in other words, the author isn’t accepting or denying characters’ actions or choices or positions but simply presenting them, recognizing them, in a transparent way.

e. ppl might then conclude: “he’s just bringing something up without ‘taking a position.’ his ‘position’ was ‘it’s complicated.’ that’s a ‘cop-out’.”

f. which is fine if that’s how you read it. but it’s not how i read it.

I won’t bother saying this piece stereotyped and generalized the hell out of women, since most commenters did before, but I do give the author the benefit of the doubt that he is sincere in questioning these stories from other men.

We draw to us the type of people we believe are out there in the world, and in a sometimes unconscious way, what we are looking for. Apparently, these men are looking for women with some serious self-esteem issues, and maybe they are looking for them because they are in fact, afraid of strong, self-sufficient women.