Forbidden Vietnamese Plant

Desperate Plant Disguise

One wonders how and why this traveler was so attached to the plant that he or she made this artsy fartsy attempt to disguise its organic nature. Painstakingly wrapped twig by twig, and ornately appointed, the plant was further disguised in a wrapped box.

The smuggler was foiled by an astute officer in Sterling, Virginia in November, 2008 armed with an x-ray machine, and the aluminum ensconced “plant of Vietnamese origin” was confiscated.

Winnie the Pooh Sausage Smuggler

He sure loves his hunny. On his best buddy, that is.

The smuggler of these sausages gets a gold star for irony for packaging a pork product in this Winnie the Pooh puzzle box. Who would think to look for the ground up brethren of Pooh’s BFF Piglet in this shrink wrapped package?

The passenger arriving at Dulles International Airport from Amsterdam in February, 2009 may have been overindulging in a certain other prohibited substance not to have considered the weight discrepancy between two kielbasas and a wafer thin cardboard picture. Ah, sausage smuggler, you defy classification with your nefarious, meat craving ways.

42 Bottles of Love Potion

There’s enough to get every cop on the NYPD kissed here.

A woman arriving from Africa wanted so desperately to keep the magic in her relationship that she attempted to smuggle into the U.S. these 42 bottles of Love potion. That’s what she and her husband waiting Stateside told the Customs and Border Protection officers in Philadelphia who intercepted this package from the couple, who claimed it was for personal use.

CBP reviewed the “potion” and determined it to be “inadmissable,” classifying it as a drug. As of March 2008, the plan was to destroy the liquid. Makes you wonder if they’ll have to go down to 34th and Vine to do it.

Dead Bird Head in a Bar of Soap

You couldn’t call this one a dirty birdie.

Here in the United States, the least loved are flushed while the most loved are generally interred in a shoebox. Perhaps the most infamous dead bird ever, it will surely live on in the memory of the customs officer who discovered it pressed carefully in a bar of black soap.

The Nigerian traveler who arrived in Baltimore by way of London in March, 2009 denied having any animal products, but was discovered by Customs and Border Protection officers to be in possession of “3.6 pounds of beef, three pounds of chicken bullion, one star fruit and the soap-encased bird,” and summarily charged $300.00. You’ve got to wonder what happened to it in the end, but the funeral procession likely surmounted the excitement of the final farewell.

All Photos courtesy of Customs and Border Protection

Stall stands tell stories: what grows, what people eat, how they dress, talk and spend their money. Budget travelers need not shy away from the bustle simply because they’re not planning to buy. In fact, going penniless to the bazaar usually proves more interesting than wandering with a wad of cash. Not sure what to do besides shop? Consider one of the following agendas:

Get the Goods on Your Goods

Go ahead, eyeball the abalone necklace you can’t live without. Yet instead of asking its price, discover who made it, where and how the abalone was harvested, how it was cut and carried to the market. Does it have a singular origin or will you see this same piece of jewelry throughout your travels? What should you look for in a good piece of abalone?

Query as much as you can, and do so from several vendors; answers might vary, which makes finding the truth more challenging. Later, when you are ready to purchase your necklace, you’ll be armed with information and guaranteed to grab a fair deal.

Practice Bartering

Attempt two kinds of bartering during your penniless walk: first, “get off my back” bargaining, where you try to rid yourself of unwanted hawkers. Low ball your first offer and when the vendor counters, toss out a figure lower than the first. For example, go from five shillings to three, then down to two. The salesperson won’t know what to do with you, and is likely to become frustrated and give up.

Second, practice “I gotta have this” bartering. Choose an item you have no interest in: say a Peewee Herman coaster set. Because you’re sussing out prices for something you’d never buy, your emotions won’t play a role; you could haggle all day long and not care.

See how low the vendor will go, but be careful not to agree on a price; otherwise, the expectation is that you’ll buy the item. Use the final price as an indicator of fair market value for other items. As a general rule of thumb, let the salesman declare the first price; work down from there.

Meet the Locals

Gossip, recipes and village news sell faster in the market than on the street. Take advantage of shoptalk and chat it up with a friendly looking salesperson. Inquire about his or her family, home, and work life. Ask for their favorite place to eat or how to make a local dish (don’t be surprised if they show you how to make it right then and there).

Have a well-dressed vendor explain traditional dress; ask about good hotels and must-see alleyways. If time is on your side, find a particularly welcoming local and visit him or her several days in a row. You’ll brighten their day and broaden your cultural experience.

Learn the Language

Purchase a local lexicon without spending a Lincoln: bring along a notebook, a pen and your best ear. At one stall, or many, inquire about common words and phrases in the local dialect. Start with ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Add ‘My name is’ and ‘How much?’ Write down the turns of phrase and practice them with your new local tutor. Both of you are bound to share a good laugh.

If they are interested, reciprocate by teaching the vendor a few of your own words they might use in their business. Enhance your vocabulary as you wander through the market: learn the word for “daisy” and “water” at the flower stand; “eggs” and “meat” from the butcher.

Set Out on a Scavenger Hunt

If traveling with others, devise a list of items you may find at the market. If traveling solo, ask people back home to email suggestions. Bring along a digital camera and capture the items on your list, one by one (be certain to ask for permission before taking a photo). Deem one person responsible for organizing the judging and a prize, be it a handmade certificate, a beer at dinner, or a group high-five.

Award points based on creativity, time spent, and quality of photos. To spice it up even more, dole out bonuses for including locals or a Where’s Waldo type of character in each picture.

Trade Trinkets

Ready to ditch your Levi’s because they take up too much space? Bring ‘em to the market. Establish their value beforehand, and what you’d like to acquire in their place. Surely, the abalone necklace will take up far less room, and since you already know the worth of the necklace, you’ll know if the trade will be fair.

Keep the item to be traded out of sight as you begin to barter and whittle the vendor down as much as you can. After acting disappointed at his lowest price, feign an epiphany, whip out your 501’s and negotiate a trade. This trick works wonders at street-side book and clothing stands. Remember though, not everyone is interested in your faded denim, so don’t throw a tantrum if your swap doesn’t suss out.

Finally, if headed out to the shops with friends, designate a central meeting place, as someone is bound to get lost. And as you walk away from the dizzying, colorful madness that is the market, count your memories—not your goods or your pennies—to validate an afternoon well spent.

The Camino de Santiago de Compostela has been a popular pilgrimage since the Middle Ages. During the last 20 years it has experienced a huge re-awakening with tens of thousands travelling it each year. In this podcast Craig Martin offers a brief, practical guide to the Camino, covering route choice, guidebooks, packing tips, credencials, accommodation and some extra suggestions for the end of your pilgrimage. As you listen, check out the fantastic photos of the Camino by Irene Schmidt. For more background and an audio tour of the trail, listen to the author’s companion podcast, An Audio Tour of the Camino de Santiago. We’d also recommend reading up on the various Camino organisation websites: the Confraternity of St James, American Pilgrims on the Camino, and the Canadian Company of Pilgrims. While you’re visiting the Confraternity site, you should pick up a copy of their guidebook, published each January with updates on the site. Check out the traveler’s notebook on iTunes.