Harbor in Långedrag, near Gothenburg. Photo: Anna Brones

Number of SAABS and Volvos on the road: too many to count

Family members visited: 9

Family members that own a SAAB or Volvo: 8

Number of times I’ve traveled alone with my mother since the age of 15 before this trip: 0

Times my mother and I were frustrated about not being able to talk about people in public because they spoke Swedish too: 26

Cities visited: 5

Hours spent in Stockholm: 7

Hours spent walking in Stockholm: 6

Number of times I consulted a Stockholm map: 1

Total hours spent on trains: 9

Cost of buying Karlstad to Stockholm train ticket at last minute: 600 SEK

Crayfish consumed in one evening in Gothenburg: 7

Days spent in Sweden: 10

Days someone mentioned threat of Swine Flu: 10

Jokes made about Swine Flu: 2

Swedes I know who think they’ve had Swine Flu: 1

Minutes between landing in Gothenburg and seeing an IKEA: 11

Bags of Swedish candy brought back in suitcase: 6

Meals that included potatoes: 10

Meals of blood pudding: 4

Days with less than two fika (coffee break): 1

Starbucks sightings: 0

IKEA sightings: 3

Postcards sent with photos of topless sunbathers: 3

Topless sunbather sightings: 0

Articles read in newspaper about the Swedish Royal Family: 3

Times I’ve been to Sweden: over 15

Number of bright green, marzipan covered Princesstarta (Princess Cake) eaten: 1

Fast food restaurants visited: 0

Age that I first learned to speak Swedish: 0

Times I had to speak English: 0

Pictures taken with bikes in them: 53

Time in the morning people started buying liquor at Stockholm Airport Duty Free: 6

Cans of reindeer pate snuck through customs: 2