Florence, Italy by the Numbers

06/2/09  Print this post Print this post    8 Comments   Popular   Written by Tom Gates
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The author’s note on this photo: “I have no idea who this is.” Feature photo: Conscious Vision.

Tom Gates breaks down his trip so far by the numbers.

Days since leaving home: 150

Countries: 8

Blisters popped in the bathroom of a train: 2

Makeout sessions in a treehouse: 1

Hours spent on planes: 81

Fantasties about quesadilla grande from Tortilla Flats in NYC 150

Number of upgrades to business class: 3

Chinese meals eaten in Paris over 24 hours: 2

Times gone to grocery store without environmentally-friendly bag purchased specifically for grocery shopping: 11

Times gone to grocery store: 11

Number of people befriended on anti-depression drugs: 4

Scorpion Fish nearly touched: 3

Dollars spent frivolously on sneakers: 160

Tim Patterson

Pictures taken in which it looks like Matador contributor Tim Patterson and I are on our honeymoon: 8

Days that I enjoyed being in India 1.2

Nights slept in India with picture of Jesus present: 7

Imodium Emergencies: 3

Imodium Emergencies Not Handled In time: 1

Times nail-clipper thingy has been bought and lost: 4

Number of Ambien left in a bottle of thirty: 6

Times my mother has figured out how to check her email since I’ve been gone, despite explicit instruction, notes, private tutoring, etc: 0

Subpar pizzas eaten: 6

Hours spent in buses designed for short Asian legs: 18

Times I’ve fantasized about snuffing out a dorm snorer with a pillow: 7 to 20

Girls who have mistakenly hit on me: 7

Girls who have still tried to kiss me even after “the talk”: 2

The statue.

Times a little turned on by a statue: 1

Number of pictures on my camera with people whose names I can’t remember: 12

Number of these people who are friends on Facebook: 10

Number of museums I’ve been to in five months: 5

Longest number of days without shaving: 3

Longest wait for a visa: 5 days

SIM cards purchased: 8

Hours spent looking for Wi-Fi in foreign countries: ∞

Community Connection

For more on Tom’s journey, as well as his epic adventures with Tim Patterson, check out Tim and Tom’s Excellent Adventure, and Whilst Traveling via Eurail.

Have a good “By the Numbers” you’re interested in submitting? Please send to david[at]matadornetwork[dot]com.


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About the Author

Tom Gates

Tom is a writer and a constant traveler, having spent most of the past two years wandering Earth with his Macbook. He is also pretending to be a third person right now and is obviously writing his own bio. He knows that you knew that, despite the deft maneuvering of pronouns. Visit his blog or find him on Twitter.

8 Comments... join the discussion!

  • Julie replied on June 2, 2009

    There is nothing–and I mean NOTHING–better than waking up in the morning and laughing until you cry. Which is what I did when I read this. This is way too funny.

    ↵ Reply
  • Tim Patterson replied on June 2, 2009

    Damn, I look sexy in that photo. Where are the other 7?

    ↵ Reply
  • Christine replied on June 2, 2009

    More, more!

    ↵ Reply
  • Carlo replied on June 2, 2009

    Does anyone else see the similarity to this? http://ericsmithrocks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/george_costanza.jpg

    ↵ Reply
    • Tim Patterson replied to Carlo on June 5, 2009

      Hey now – that’s like comparing ground beef to prime rib.

      ↵ Reply
  • Nick Rowlands replied on June 3, 2009

    Hilarious (and not just the pictures!)

    ↵ Reply
  • Tim Patterson replied on June 5, 2009

    This is my favorite part:

    Number of pictures on my camera with people whose names I can’t remember: 12

    Number of these people who are friends on Facebook: 10

    So true!!!

    ↵ Reply
  • jess replied on June 6, 2009

    My mom can’t check her e-mail either, despite explicit instruction! I enjoyed reading this entire post…can’t wait to see more from you!

    ↵ Reply

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