Florence, Italy by the Numbers

06/2/09  Print this post Print this post    8 Comments   Popular   Written by Tom Gates
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The author’s note on this photo: “I have no idea who this is.” Feature photo: Conscious Vision.

Tom Gates breaks down his trip so far by the numbers.

Days since leaving home: 150

Countries: 8

Blisters popped in the bathroom of a train: 2

Makeout sessions in a treehouse: 1

Hours spent on planes: 81

Fantasties about quesadilla grande from Tortilla Flats in NYC 150

Number of upgrades to business class: 3

Chinese meals eaten in Paris over 24 hours: 2

Times gone to grocery store without environmentally-friendly bag purchased specifically for grocery shopping: 11

Times gone to grocery store: 11

Number of people befriended on anti-depression drugs: 4

Scorpion Fish nearly touched: 3

Dollars spent frivolously on sneakers: 160

Tim Patterson

Pictures taken in which it looks like Matador contributor Tim Patterson and I are on our honeymoon: 8

Days that I enjoyed being in India 1.2

Nights slept in India with picture of Jesus present: 7

Imodium Emergencies: 3

Imodium Emergencies Not Handled In time: 1

Times nail-clipper thingy has been bought and lost: 4

Number of Ambien left in a bottle of thirty: 6

Times my mother has figured out how to check her email since I’ve been gone, despite explicit instruction, notes, private tutoring, etc: 0

Subpar pizzas eaten: 6

Hours spent in buses designed for short Asian legs: 18

Times I’ve fantasized about snuffing out a dorm snorer with a pillow: 7 to 20

Girls who have mistakenly hit on me: 7

Girls who have still tried to kiss me even after “the talk”: 2

The statue.

Times a little turned on by a statue: 1

Number of pictures on my camera with people whose names I can’t remember: 12

Number of these people who are friends on Facebook: 10

Number of museums I’ve been to in five months: 5

Longest number of days without shaving: 3

Longest wait for a visa: 5 days

SIM cards purchased: 8

Hours spent looking for Wi-Fi in foreign countries: ∞

Community Connection

For more on Tom’s journey, as well as his epic adventures with Tim Patterson, check out Tim and Tom’s Excellent Adventure, and Whilst Traveling via Eurail.

Have a good “By the Numbers” you’re interested in submitting? Please send to david[at]matadornetwork[dot]com.


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About the Author

Tom Gates

Tom is currently taking a lap of Earth, living in 12 countries over 12 months in 2009, all the while documenting this trek in a book to be called Wayward. He is also pretending to be a third person right now and is obviously writing his own bio. He knows that you knew that, despite the deft maneuvering of pronouns.

8 Comments... join the discussion!

  • Julie replied on June 2, 2009

    There is nothing–and I mean NOTHING–better than waking up in the morning and laughing until you cry. Which is what I did when I read this. This is way too funny.

    ↵ Reply
  • Tim Patterson replied on June 2, 2009

    Damn, I look sexy in that photo. Where are the other 7?

    ↵ Reply
  • Christine replied on June 2, 2009

    More, more!

    ↵ Reply
  • Carlo replied on June 2, 2009

    Does anyone else see the similarity to this? http://ericsmithrocks.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/george_costanza.jpg

    ↵ Reply
    • Tim Patterson replied to Carlo on June 5, 2009

      Hey now – that’s like comparing ground beef to prime rib.

      ↵ Reply
  • Nick Rowlands replied on June 3, 2009

    Hilarious (and not just the pictures!)

    ↵ Reply
  • Tim Patterson replied on June 5, 2009

    This is my favorite part:

    Number of pictures on my camera with people whose names I can’t remember: 12

    Number of these people who are friends on Facebook: 10

    So true!!!

    ↵ Reply
  • jess replied on June 6, 2009

    My mom can’t check her e-mail either, despite explicit instruction! I enjoyed reading this entire post…can’t wait to see more from you!

    ↵ Reply

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