Photos by the author.

The train began to move and my friends ran along. They were almost jogging and I watched as the train overtook them, watched my mom stand and watch me go.

Soon they were all out of sight and so was the station platform. I got back into the compartment and took my seat. There was an elderly couple next to me.

I was traveling from Mumbai to Northern India, a 30 hour journey. By evening my iPod battery gave up on me and I took a break to look at things.

I fidgeted a little and caught the attention of the lady next to me, she said in Hindi “Where does a young girl like you travel alone to?” I told her to volunteer with an NGO.

She snorted and said “At your age, child, I was ripe with my third born.” (I’m 21).

Soon we were chit chatting like old friends and her husband joined in. I learnt they were Sindhi’s from Sind which now politically falls under Pakistan. When India was partitioned they didn’t want to be part of Pakistan so gave up their home, land and family, crossed the border onto India on foot.

They told me about their life thereafter and what a disappointment India had been. I felt angry and defensive but I didn’t say anything.

Night came and I retired to my bunk. I don’t remember when I dozed off but was awoken sometime in the night by loud fighting and shouting. The police were conducting a random check on the train and someone had been caught with alcohol. We were in a religious section of the country where alcohol was prohibited, besides you’re not allowed to travel with any booze on you.

The police moved down the train and I could hear them approaching me. When you see the cops you feel like you’re in danger rather than safe and secure.

My heart began thumping even though I knew I had nothing on me and there was no reason for them to pick on me. The curtains of my berth were drawn and I heard the policeman ask the conductor:

“Who’s in here?”

The conductor responded “it’s a girl, from Mumbai, she’s only a child”

And I heard the policeman walk away.

On inquiring from the conductor I found out we were in the middle of the Rajasthan desert. That was a scary thought. The train began to move and the next thing I remember is loud shrill voices screaming “chai” (Tea) and light flooding in from somewhere. Then I was dreaming that I was swimming and I couldn’t figure out which side was up because there was light in every direction and some annoying voice was saying something about tea.

I woke up then and found that I was in Delhi, still had a few hours to get to Haryana. I bought some chai for 5 rupees and settled down. I went off to relieve myself and stare at the ground through the small hole through which I was expected to dump. It felt weird but I did what I had to do.

The elderly couple had gotten off at Delhi and I was alone in the compartment now.

Feature photo by pulguita. Photo above by Sreejith Kodoth.

One of the most defining characteristics of Indian culture is hospitality. People in India have the highest regard for guests and value hospitality. A common saying here is “atithi devo bhav,” meaning, “Guests are forms of God.”

The saying has as much meaning for Indian hosts as it does for foreign guests.

In India, you are likely to be invited into the homes of people with whom you interact. Even business meetings usually follow with a meal at someone’s home, so do not appear to be taken aback or surprised: accept the invitation cordially.

Here are some tips you should keep in mind to make your visit a pleasant one for you and your hosts when visiting a home in India:

Photo by Sun Pictures/Lakshman.

1. Dress conservatively, especially if you are a woman. Revealing clothes and exposed skin are frowned upon and will make everyone in the house uncomfortable.

2. It is not necessary to take a gift when visiting a home, though it is always appreciated. Something from your home country, a souvenir or maybe some sweets, is the most appropriate gift if you do not know the family or what they might need. Ice cream or some chocolates for the children of the house is something you can’t go wrong with.

3. In India, footwear and feet are considered dirty. In most homes, footwear is taken off outside the main door and the house is entered barefoot.

4. Once you are inside and introductions have been made, you will usually be greeted by a “Namaste” (joining of both hands). Namaste means different things to different people. Some say it is a bow of respect, while many believe it says, “I greet you with no previous inhibitions or prejudices.” Most traditional homes still use Namaste regularly, so if you are faced with it, simply return it.

5. In almost all cases you will first be offered water. This custom has extended from the villages, where people walk long distances to get to another’s home and may be tired and breathless, requiring refreshment upon arrival. Take the water and have a sip, even if you are not specifically thirsty.

6. Do not attempt to hug or kiss anyone on the cheek unless it is initiated by the other person. India is still a very conservative nation and hugging and kissing are not common practices, especially with a newly made acquaintance. A handshake will be the most you may initiate.

7. If you are asked if you don’t mind spicy food, do not imagine your host is referring to paprika or chili sauce. Be prepared for some seriously hot food. What Americans and Europeans tend to find spicy, Indians may find sweetish or bland.

8. Alcohol is taboo on most dinner tables and in quite a few homes as well. Do not assume that it will be served unless your host specifically mentions it.

Photo by orange tuesday.

9. Smoking is also something frowned upon in some homes. Always ask if it’s okay before lighting up a cigarette. Men of the house might smoke outside at work but do not smoke at home. Women who smoke are rare. Do not offer them a cigarette, as this may be interpreted as disrespectful.

10. Be prepared for vegetarian food in most homes as a large population of Indians are vegetarians. Even egg is considered non vegetarian.Prepare yourself for a green only cuisine experience.

11. You will notice that everyone washes their hands before and after a meal, and in most homes people eat only with their hands. Since hand-washing is so habitual, even families who eat with spoons are likely to wash their hands before a meal.

Photo by tracyhunter.

12. Serve yourself in small quantities and take second helpings. The biggest compliment to the lady of the house is when a guest likes her food. Be sure to be vocal about what you like the most and feel free to ask questions about the food. Asking for a recipe is also appropriate.

13. Always ask for permission before taking photographs of the family, especially of women.

14. Asking questions about culture, beliefs, and religion is fine as long as you do not sound derogatory or condescending.

Enjoy! Remember that your hosts are happy to have you, and saying you had a good time is the best way to repay them for their warm hospitality.

Community Connection:

Visiting a home, anywhere in the world? Check out 7 Ways to Thank Someone for Staying at their Home.